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Archive for February 2010

Six suggestions for Bal Thackeray

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  1. Show your allegiance to the long standing cause of the Tamils in Sri Lanka – rechristen your son Udhav Thackeray to an apt Tamil name – Udhavackeray. [ Note: For non-Tamils, the next time you see Tamil speaker, call him/her loudly and clearly a Udhavackeray (ooo-dha-va-ka-rai.)]
  2. Acknowledge that your tirade against South Indians in 1960’s was because of your unrequited, un-communicated love for Vijayanthimala.
  3. How about a reality series called  “The Lunatics are running the asyulum” with you, Raj Thackeray, Narendra Modi and Sarah Palin.
  4. Since you are a cartoonist and you are not making much headway in this Mumbai for Maharashtrians thing, get back to old ways and draw for “Savita Bhabi” .
  5. Shed the saffron for a day, get a wash and shave. For a change, you might feel some love on Valentine’s Day.
  6. Stay home. Stay Silent and pluck your baal.

Note: This started out as ten suggestions. The Censors cut it to six.  If you want to see the remaining four, wait for the DVD.

Written by Sudarshan Suresh

February 7, 2010 at 10:34 am

There is something about Jairam

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  1. He once walked up to a lady in a the bar at Boston and said “Why don’t you come home with me tonight? I have cosmetically modified assests.”.
  2. In a letter to Sharad Pawar, he furiously wrote “I am not a sugarcane for you to chew and throw. I am not like the price of food that you control for you to pull up and throw down as you like. I am Ram, JaiRam”
  3. I am sure the conversation here was limited to the following three words “”Kaminey! Kaminey!! Kaminey!!!”
  4. He met this stunner in Bhopal who proved elusive to his charms and pleaded “Honey, touch me and you will find that I am not a toxic asset. Can’t you see I am 50 and still not balding “
  5. He met a sultry woman with expressive eyes in the foothills of the Himalayas one night and said “Honey, it is 20:05. My love for you will not melt unitl20:35, just like these Himalayas.”

Written by Sudarshan Suresh

February 2, 2010 at 11:06 pm

Disclaimer

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Last night, I was tossing and turning in bed as I constipated with fear over my previous post in Italian. I was worried  whether I would have inadvertently(due to my very limited knowledge of Italian) asked Sonia Gandhi to shove that Bt.Brinjal up her posterior instead of Monsanto’s posterior.   Whenever I have such moments of self-doubt, I turn to Google, which threw up this gem.

Jack: The Italians have a saying, Lemon, “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” And, although they’ve never won a war or mass-produced a decent car, in this area they are correct.

Thanks, Jack and more importantly KD !! I am adding a disclaimer to my previous post in Italian

“If the Congress workers who know Italian feel that my previous post was offensive to the Iron lady of their party and are looking for effigies to burn kindly google “Google Translate”. I get all my Italian from Google Translate and Rick Steves’ Italian Phrasebook.   Arrivederci, vigliacchi”

Written by Sudarshan Suresh

February 1, 2010 at 9:18 pm