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Archive for February 2008

How unCommunist!!!

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Communist Party Meeting and not Usha Uthup Concert

Communist Party of India-Marxist (CPI-M) state secretary Pinarayi Vijayan, irritated by his party workers who had gone berserk during a public meeting at Kottayam last week, admonished them that it was not Usha Uthup’s programme but the meeting of the Communists.

I did not know that the politburo was against dancing. I actually thought they used plays, dances, songs to get their message across to the working class people, who should be their primary targets.

In the same article, there is another memorable sound byte

Vijayan had said that they should behave like disciplined Communists and not like drunkards.

I have actually been in many parties where they would tolerate you if you are a drunkard but not a communist. One person’s freedom is other person’s poison.

Written by Sudarshan Suresh

February 29, 2008 at 2:45 am

Posted in Garbage Post

Unfair sex

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Chief Justice has some ‘modest’ advice for women

Urging women to dress “modestly” for the “safety and security of the people,” Cyriac Joseph, Chief Justice of the High Court of Karnataka, on Friday said: “Nowadays, women wear such kind of dresses even in temples and churches that when we go to places of worship, instead of meditating on God, we end up meditating on the person before us.”

I couldn’t agree more with the Chief Justice for two reasons

  • Women dress so provocatively these days that they have sucked the thrill out of after dark late night masala entertainment which I am sure the Chief Justice thoroughly relishes considering the fact that he cannot even keep his eyes off the eves even while praying. ( I am sweating after writing that long sentence)
  • Gone are the days when men made fashion tests by leaving the top three buttons open and revealing their masculine chest hair. It is so dated now because even women do it. Women dressing provocatively is the sole reason why men are also forced to dress provocatively. As a proof of the above statement, I present Salman Khan, a man who has committed himself to a half naked status just to prove he is stylish.

Readers of this blog (which is just me) know that I am not jsut a talker but a walker and I am not just a walker but a runner. So here are my suggestions to rein in this terribble crisis that is threatening manhood.

  • In order to meditate just on Gods and not on the scantily clad women before us, the Chief Justice needs to pass a law that women are not allowed to enter the temple or another public places. They need to be restrained and kept within the four walls of the house where they can wear any provocative clothing.

If the judge follows my advice, he would have done a huge service to mankind because the one of the will definitely happen

  • The President of India will recall him Chief Justice and I will burn her effigy if she doesn’t throw this guy to the gallows and order a few thousand whips.
  • His wife would happily divorce him for looking at other women even at temples. But I am making a big assumption here that he is married and for that matter, even a heterosexual.

A slightly over the top but slight good retort to the judge and a few other sexist remarks have been posted in this article – and the article is the reason why I came to know about Mr.Cyriac Joseph

Written by Sudarshan Suresh

February 29, 2008 at 2:12 am

Order, Order, Order…..

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 The farmers of Maharashtra and other places will be heart warmed and postpone tightening their nooses because their beloved leaders achieved a moral victory by staging a walkout in the parliament. I cannot believe these people. Instead of nailing the Agriculture Minister in a debate in front of a huge TV audience, the opposition has let loose its opportunity. Maybe even they have been bought by IPL.

Opposition rocks Parliament for third day in row- Politics/Nation-News-The Economic Times

Even as the General Budget was just a day away, Third Front and NDA rocked Parliament for the third day on Thursday on the farmers’ issue demanding a loan waiver and a package for the farm sector.

In the Rajya Sabha, the members focussed on the farmers’ issue, in the Lower House, RJD members raised the issue of attacks on North Indians in Mumbai with some of them raising slogans against MNS chief Raj Thackeray.

The Lok Sabha saw Agriculture Minister Sharad Pawar watching with amusement the slogan-shouting for the farmers by the Opposition members amid reports that a bonanza for the farm sector would be unveiled tomorrow.

A visibly angry Speaker Somnath Chatterjee disapproved the action telling the members that they were “working overtime to destroy democracy”, even as his appeals for taking up the listed business went unheeded.

As both Houses met for the day, the Opposition members, including those of the Samajwadi Party, TDP, Shiv Sena, BJP and Akali Dal, stormed the well of the House demanding immediate loan waiver to farmers.

The only redeeming feature in the Lok Sabha was that Finance Minister P Chidambaram was allowed to present the Economic Survey 2007-08, as also papers by other Ministers and members without any din.

It was a similar story in both the Houses when they met after an hour.

Written by Sudarshan Suresh

February 28, 2008 at 4:54 pm

No more Lattes

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Mike Huckabee might disagree that the world is really about the survival of the fittest but America and Americans have once again proven that the world today, decorated with thorns and hurdles, it is indeed the fittest that survive. America has aced its latest litmus test –

Starbucks Takes a 3-Hour Coffee Break – New York Times

“This is not about training,” he said to his employees, looking somewhat somber. “This is about the love and compassion and commitment that we all need to have for the customer.”

No casualities were reported during this 3 hour test of endurance and patience once again reiterating the fighting spirit and the sacrificial attitude of the American people.

If I were the CEO of Starbucks, I will spin this thing in two ways. 

1. Make an ad on what were the effects on the junta during the three hour closure. I am sure at least one person in the next few weeks and months will sue Starbucks for reduced sexual drive because they could not sip on their grande mocha frappucino that evening.

2. Greenwash the whole three hour stoppage by saying we wanted to reduce our footprint and demonstrate the amount of trash saved if people don’t drink coffee from Starbucks paper cups. Introduce a new product-  Starbucks reusable mugs. People will buy the mugs (which means profit for us) but forget to get them to the store often( doesn’t hurt our exisiting business anyway). But the media will lap up the commitment for the environment which will bring in the fence sitters to our side.

Written by Sudarshan Suresh

February 28, 2008 at 8:19 am

Posted in Alter Ego, Garbage Post

Huckabee and Huckawas

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It is no secret that I love Mike Huckabee and I absolutely adore his thoughts on evolution – I think they are one of a kind and needs to be preserved and not let outdoors. Huckabee is a real sport. He has a great sense of humor and is probably one of the few Republican candidates to appear of Colbert Report as well as Saturday Night Live. I also love Huckabee because he is a great role model for kids
who want to run – I mean literally.

Just look at these two pics – just by running for President, Huckabee went from looking like Danny Devito to looking like Kevin Spacey. He is the perfect role model for kids and perfect supermodel for the weight loss industry.

Written by Sudarshan Suresh

February 28, 2008 at 7:51 am

Posted in Garbage Post

Unholy f***

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The Global AIDS Fight

The most troublesome ideological constraint on the program — a requirement that one-third of the funds used for prevention services be spent on abstinence education — has been greatly eased. The bill calls for a balanced prevention program that would promote abstinence until marriage and fidelity thereafter, as well as condoms. It requires countries to report if abstinence and fidelity funding falls below a certain percentage, but it sets no firm percentage that has to be met.

President Bush is very popular in Africa. His approval ratings are soaring there at the same pace his approval ratings are tanking here. His continued push to spend money on AIDS and malaria care in Africa is the only reason. But “Bush being Bush” there is a caveat. It used to be that AID agencies will use the word “condom” very sparingly in their education and awareness material because it is very unchristian to promote contraception.

Bush prescribed the ABC approach to fighting AIDS. A-Abstinence, B- Be faithful and C-Condoms. Can you believe any AIDS education relying more on a religious approach rather than on a practical approach. I agree that single partner sex is the best way to fight AIDS but that rarely happens. More and more women get AIDS because their partners have AIDS and the women were having unprotected sex.

Isn’t it more pragmatic to urge people to slip on the bag before hitting the bed with a partner? Here are some more links if you are sleeping on the couch tonight

Bush’s AIDS Hypocrisy Cons the NY Times

Bush on Condoms/AIDS

How Bush’s AIDS Program is Failing Africans | The American Prospect

Written by Sudarshan Suresh

February 27, 2008 at 7:04 am

Posted in Smoking Crack

Lifestyles of the rich and the clintons

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The New York Times has already begun analyzing the implosion of Hilary Clinton’s presidential campaign before she folds up in Texas. I am sure her favorite card game is not “Texas Hold ‘Em” . I am yet to write her off until the fat lady sings ( fat lady sings is a phrase and is not directed at Clinton) but I found this article very interesting – 11000 bucks on Pizzas and 1200 on Donuts- fattening foods during the lean month of January 🙂

Donors Worried by Clinton Campaign Spending – New York Times

In other notable expenditures during the lean month of January, Mrs. Clinton paid $275,000 to Sunrise Communications, a South Carolina firm that was supposed to turn out black voters for her and collected nearly $800,000 in total. She lost that state to Mr. Obama by a wide margin. Even small expenses piled up in January: the campaign spent more than $11,000 on pizza and $1,200 on Dunkin’ Donuts runs.

If you are still wondering about who the fat lady is? I wanted to make myself clear that I did not mean Oprah as well.

Written by Sudarshan Suresh

February 25, 2008 at 9:32 pm

Posted in Garbage Post


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Democratic Representative Kirk Watson was made a sitting duck by Chris Mathews last night and I am bitter at Mr. Watson for showing up on TV with no f****** preparation. Anyone going on television should at least be able to defend their position with substantiative objective evidence. In the end, he said something equally worse that he believes in Mr.Obama because he inspires people. People find Dr.Phil inspiring but that doesn’t mean we can make him a President

Senate Accomplishments :

The nation that is so wooed by Obama has to be enamored by the last accomplishment which was passed unanimously. What can be a great accomplishment than getting the Senate to congratulate your home town team on their victory in the crowing glory of America’s past time.

Wow!!!. I cannot believe that a campaign can put that out as an accomplishment.

Written by Sudarshan Suresh

February 25, 2008 at 9:26 pm

Posted in Garbage Post

The Empire strikes back

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You can only be naive if you believe that the following order by the church is not a response to my previous post

Church urges hanky panky among members – Yahoo! News

A southwest Florida church issued a challenge for its married members: Hanky panky every day. Relevant Church head pastor Paul Wirth issued the 30-day sex challenge

Somebody punch my face and tell me it is true that I am shaping opinion. 🙂

Written by Sudarshan Suresh

February 19, 2008 at 7:38 pm

Posted in Garbage Post

Power of advertising

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All newspapers should run this story/survey in the front pages as a definite thumbs up for homosexuality. How else could you explain men giving up sex for a thing over which they can only bond over with other males? If Ann Coulter or Rush Limbaugh sees this survey, they can else launch a tirade against big screen TV seeing it as a potential contraceptive to a conservative value based American family.

Sex, or a plasma TV? Men pick TV

Nearly half of British men surveyed would give up sex for six months in return for a 50-inch plasma TV, a survey — perhaps unsurprisingly carried out for a firm selling televisions — said last week.

It is just amazing what advertising has managed to achieve- reminds me of what Tyler Druden said about it in Fight Club

Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t.

Written by Sudarshan Suresh

February 19, 2008 at 3:49 am

Posted in Garbage Post