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Archive for December 2006

bowling shane…

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Yet another boyhood idol of mine bids adieu. Warne, Taylor, Waugh brothers and McGrath were main resons behind my fanatic love for the Aussies. Everyone talks about the ball of the century and I have seen it a million times in recording but to me it just doesn’t feel the same way as watching Warne conjure up his magic in a live game. So in my opinion, the ball he got Basit Ali in the Sydney test match( the last ball of the day) and the ball with which he gets Herschelle Gibbs in the World Cup Semifinal against South Africa stand out as his best. I watched both games live and celebrated till tears came out of my eyes. If I had to pick one, I would pick the Herschelle Gibbs dismissal because Australia had made something like 217 and South Africa were 48 or 49 for no loss after 10 overs, Herschelle Gibbs had scored a scorching hundred in the previous game and the match looked like going South Africa’s way quickly but in came Shane Warne and produced an absolute beauty of a spell taking four wickets and rest as the cliche goes in history…I am sure they would do the “Warney, Warney” chant in Melbourne and I will join them full throatedly.

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Written by Sudarshan Suresh

December 22, 2006 at 6:17 am

Posted in Cricket, Uncategorized

befuddled

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In today’s day and age, I thought clocks at public destinations is
predominantly for people who cannot afford a time showing device[ In today’s day and age that is rare as well].I saw a digital clock yesterday in one of the traffic signals in Bangalore. I marvelled at the idea to have a digital clock there because it will help even people who do not have math skills(analog clock requires the knowledge of multiplication) get an idea about time. The marvelling lasted for a few seconds when I read the time – “21:55”. I guess someone needs to know subtraction or addition to figure out the right time. In most Government decisions, we can clearly see that the thought-process is lacking.

In Vidarbha, where farmers are killing themselves as often as you would feed yourselves sumptuously, the Government has announced relief packages for the region mired in poverty and failure of crops. As a stroke of incomparable stupidity, they decided to give cows as relief for these farmers. How can the Government not think that these farmers are already poor and a cow would just mean an addition to their family and in turn more expenses. Also, data from the region clearly suggests that dairy is not really a thriving business. While I totally agree that hindsight is the best 20/20 and it is easy to criticize the Government, don’t you think the Government must really do a 360 degree thinking before it disburses relief measures and not do it just for the sake of doing something….

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Written by Sudarshan Suresh

December 21, 2006 at 1:38 pm

Posted in Smoking Crack

one line stories

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  • Times of India print version is definitely better than its online version.
  • A humble request to all fans of thalaivar. Please don’t paste thalaivar posters at important road signs.
  • Traffic in Bangalore is always like the 4:30-8:30 traffic on 880. Even if you are driving, you can read an entire newspaper
  • I was speaking to an auto driver this morning and he was happy about the business that the software companies have generated. But he was terribly unhappy over the steep increase in prices of essential commodities especially vegetables.
  • Almost everyone in Bangalore seems to be multi-lingual. I have spoken more Hindi in the last 3 days than in the last 27 years and I think I have spoken it correctly because no sentences were met with anger, laughter or silence.
  • Pre-paid taxis at the airport are a farce.
  • Train journeys are so much better than airplane travel especially due to the comfortable sleeps.
  • Airline fares in India are lesser than the taxes on the same ticket.
  • Went to a hotel where they still give you a handwritten bill and also met a man who has worked in the hotel ever since he could write.
  • Malls in Bangalore are so damn expensive. You can only watch.
  • AIrlines operating inside India send you text messages if there is a delay or reschedule of flight. At least Air Deccan and SpiceJet did.

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Written by Sudarshan Suresh

December 20, 2006 at 1:41 pm

Posted in Garbage Post

this post is like seinfeld

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Was at the airport on the way back to chennai and a board at the security checkpoint read “Safety Culture is of paramount value” . I guess either safety or culture could have been removed from that sentence and given the location of the board, it would have been best if they had discarded culture. Who am I to say all this?

I am waiting to board the flight and the man next to me is opening his coke bottle. I want to give him the piss about the fizz but I turn away and look at the impresive array of airline desks in front of me – Kingfisher, Indian, IndiGo, Paramount, Jet, Spicejet, Air Deccan and one more at the far corner that I cannot see. So many airlines, yet I saw the public transport buses packed to the roofs while I was coming to the airport.

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Written by Sudarshan Suresh

December 20, 2006 at 1:30 pm

Posted in Garbage Post

my first flight within India

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The line at the Chennai Airport security check-in was as long as anything I had seen. Airlines have setup shop like private bus companies and their traffic has quite literally shot up in the air. The one area I think they should pay attention is the message on the security monitors on top of the metal detectors. I was watching it for a long time before I saw anything that was sensible. The message on the monitor read Things that you are not allowed to carry in your cabin luggage[ my request: pause here for a minute and think of all the things that would appear in this list] . The message on the monitor continued by saying you are not allowed to carry these things in your cabin luggage 1. rifles 2. swords 3.revolver 4. mace 5. gun powder 6. ammunition 6. hammer etc etc etc . I am sure if a weak hearted sees such a message , he would think twice about flying the next time

You might wonder how can so many airlines be served with such limited number of gates. A workaround has been invented and I think it is a terrific, adventurous and funfilled workaround. The gate in the domestic terminal in Chennai is not the gate to the aeroplane. The gate is a gate to the bus which transports all passengers to the doorsteps of the plane. This bus literally runs parallel to the runway and at one point waited a little too long for my impatient soul and then shot my neck out through the window and saw something spectacular – the bus was waiting because an airplane slowly coming to its parking spot was in it path and the bus went around the airplane after it came to halt. Wow!! what a symbiotic relationship….

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Written by Sudarshan Suresh

December 13, 2006 at 4:12 am

Posted in Garbage Post

landed in India

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There is something about the motherland that reinvigorates even the dullest of souls. As soon as I disembarked the plane, I was greeted by a round mound with a double-sickle moustache – a trademark Chennai cop. As I walked just smiling to myself, I was counting the number of people in the airport who were just directing the passengers to the correct desk – I counted six. There are too many do-gooders in the airport as well and I met one such while I was trying to fit my luggage in my trolley. The gentleman came and helped me voluntarily and even while he was in motion rearraning my suitcases, I smelt a rat and warned him that I am not going to give him anything or rather I don’t have anything to give him. But the man went through with his work and was shocked when I really did not give him anything. He puked me goodbye with the choicest words in his vocabulary. I really admired his general knowledge and relentlessness – he knew the currencies of about 5 countries – he offered to take the payment in dollar, dirham, pound sterling, rupees and one more which I forget.

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Written by Sudarshan Suresh

December 12, 2006 at 10:14 am

Posted in Garbage Post

laying over at Bangkok

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If airports were a gateway to a country, I think this one in Bangkok is a very poor gateway. For a country with such sparkling tradition, the airport is appalingly American. I am almost certain that Government would have wanted to build an aiport quickly and the architects decided to Control-C, Control-V an airport design from the United States and to satiate traditionalists, they have hung a few paintings reflecting the Thai culture.

I am at the economy class lounge which is just a bigger version of your normal boarding area and it has free internet or rather I am able to connect to it freely. God only knows who is the owner of the network. So, I am blogging because of divine intervention. Maybe this is payback from God for the days I had allowed my neighbor to use (read steal) my airwaves.

A Anbe-Sivamesque incident happend. I asked for coconut juice and the lady promptly opened the coconut for me. I proudly thrust my American Express card forward and she rejected it as I hope Amare would reject Duncan in this year’s playoffs and she said “Only Cash”. I chased down the ATM and drank the juice. I guess I should make this the theme of my trip – “Paper over Plastic”.

Another huge revelation in that shop was that there is nothing called Thai Iced Tea in Thailand and they are cheating us in the United States :-). I am yet to do the investigation on the rest of the delicious food served in the Thai restaurants across the United States.

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Written by Sudarshan Suresh

December 10, 2006 at 7:27 pm

Posted in Garbage Post

Food, Headache and capitalism

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The flight from the United States to Hong Kong was special – for the first time in days, I slept like a log without thinking about work. Another thing that I noticed was that they served too little food on the flight but when they served it, the food was piping hot and good except for the cucumbers. ( As an afterthought, maybe it was good because it was piping hot and served in such small quantities once in 12 hours on a 16 hour flight) . I recommend the Indian vegetarian meal on Cathay Pacifc although I don’t recommend Cathay Pacific 🙂 . Due to the relatively empty flight [ I am used to packed Southwest flight where passengers run routes to get the best seat and in the seat, you are elbowed from time to time] , I took the luxury of lying down flat on the seats and in the process my cold tablets dropped out of my jacket. In the middle of the flight, I wanted to have them, couldn’t find them and I requested the airlines for some tablets. Thus, the story of my discomfort spread. Nearly 4 or 5 air hostess would have enquired about my health. When the last one asked me how I was, I almost felt like the Phoenix rising back from the ashes.

The security checkpoint in Hong Kong was more like a socializing hot-spot. You need not remove your shoes or your laptops from the bag. The guys who are supposed to check you were checking out their colleague. As I walk through Hong Kong airport checking out the bookstores, I see books that talk about business and in turn capitalism line up the bookstore showcases. I am guessing that the most travellers are business travellers and maybe even most bookbuyers are business travellers and the line up on books on the front of the store is a bait to lure them into the bookstore. I have to borrow a word from president Bush’s vocabulary and say ” I misunderestimated capitalism”

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Written by Sudarshan Suresh

December 10, 2006 at 7:05 pm

Posted in Smoking Crack

Money, Money Money

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Airlines are weird. And I know that I am not the first person saying this but I have a special hatred for them. Think about this – the first time you land in a foreign country, the airline loses your suitcase and doesn’t get the luggage back to you for a few weeks and if it happens to you and you still are in a airline love fest, please raise your hands and I shall make sure that you stay indoors with views like those.

Anyway, coming back to the daly dose of hatred for the airline business, I flew out today to an international destination ( I am not sending you checks if you guess the destination) and the domestic airline did not allow me to carry a baggage weight that the international airline allows me to carry. I have heard the airline staff at the counter say many a time to me that it compromises the safety of the aircraft if the luggage exceeds its specifications but you can get away by paying a fee. How does the fee compensate for the safety of the airline? It is like saying I hate to kill animals but I love the chicken sandwich.

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Written by Sudarshan Suresh

December 10, 2006 at 7:04 pm

Posted in Smoking Crack

Playball

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In Boston, Theo is acting as if he incorrectly heard his wife when she said “I don’t want us to keep Nanny”. It might sound ridiculous but I cannot think of a better explanation behind him trying not to keep Manny. Manny and Paapi form the best 3-4 combination in the league and to trade Manny will adversely affect Paapi’s production at the plate. If he trades Manny and the Sox suck this year, Theo really needs a suit to escape from Fenway one month before Haloween.

Since Manny is a 10/5 player [ 10 years of major league experience and 5 years with the same team], he can veto a trade to any team. So if the Red Sox try to trade him to perennial cupcakes like the Rangers, Brewers or Royals, Manny can say I won’t go. One place Manny would love to go would be LA so that he can go and hang out with the greatest singer on that side of the bars – Snoop Dawg and smoke weed everyday.

Michael Strahan who endorses a deodrant should also start endorsing anger management lessons and frustration control lessons. He called out his team mate Plaxico Burress for not trying hard and as a ripple effect of the outpour, Pam Lee divorced Kid Rock.

In his first appearance before the media after the middle finger salute, Michael Vick revealed the true target and reason behind his obscene gesture. He said that he saw President Bush in the stands and was gesturing to him.

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Written by Sudarshan Suresh

December 1, 2006 at 8:40 am

Posted in Baseball